#this is probably a pet peeve of mine

[ainosgarden]

the bear s3 starring even more actual chefs and restaurateurs with actual dialogues about their real life careers......

this is not what i watch this show for... i get enough of that from food docs already... just stop...

[nyancrimew]

i'm a us liberal and i think you're cool

i highly doubt you're a liberal then and just think liberal = leftist which it very much does not

[ratatatastic]

he is quite literally every techie's worst nightmare girl please stop touching the mic STOP TOUCHING IT. YOU DONT NEED TO CONTINUOUSLY BRING IT CLOSER TO YOU AND MOVING IT BACK THATS THE PERSON ON SOUND'S JOB. STOP IT.

post practise interview | 6.23.24 (x)

[plut00nline]

Just saw a tiktok of someone "explaining" the past few eps of arcane (the black rose, the wolves, the arcane) and although it was a good video it's also like, the show just set that shit up, at least give them time to explain it within the story. We don't need to know every bit of information the second it's revealed, especially if you don't follow LoL lore or even just want to be intrigued by wtf is going to happen.

[keshetchai]

As someone who enjoys religion blogging/discussions, I've come to realize that it's a good practice to be aware of the general signs/symptoms of religious-OCD thinking (aka scrupulosity), because if the conversation is taking on all the hallmarks of scrupulosity, it's actually a definitive sign that we cannot meaningfully and compassionately engage in a conversation about religion in a healthy way. I've actually had this play out a significant number of times online, and when I realized what it was, I also began to realize that the intrusive thoughts/obsessive and compulsive thinking are only ever fed by continuing the discussion with that person.

[[ Important edit to clarify why I am saying it's not healthy — made after I went back to look for more concrete facts about OCD or anxiety (I have GAD, not OCD, but many resources overlap since they're both anxiety disorders):

When Reassurance is Harmful — this explains how/why reassurance-seeking specifically about an OCD fear is a compulsive behavior, and engaging with reassurance-seeking interferes with recovery/management/treatment.

This table from the Anxiety Disorders Center lists key differences between Information Seeking and Reassurance Seeking.

This IOCDF page on Scrupulosity info for Faith Leaders identifies "symptom accommodation" as enabling. Two of the examples of doing this by participating in the OCD behavior are: "Engage in excessive conversation focused on if-then scenarios (e.g., "If I did this, then would X or Y happen? And what if Z was involved? How about W?")" And, "Repeatedly answering questions about ‘correct’ religious or faith practices."

That page also goes on to outline more info about reassurance seeking. "Although providing answers to (often simple!) questions may seem harmless, providing reassurance serves to maintain the anxiety disorder cycle." (This BMC psychiatry article cites a lot of related studies establishing this.)

The IOCDF page on What is OCD and Scrupulosity? ]]

Imo, the responsible thing to do is to recognize that (even if the other person hasn't outright stated it/isn't diagnosed)* the conversation is not about religion, it is about needing mental health support from professionals and experts. Talking to me, the layperson who enjoys chatting theology and my religion — is not only not helping, but is actively harmful. I'm not just talking about the person who I replied to today, either. Like I've said, I've seen this happen dozens of times in various online forums.

*[while I am against diagnosing strangers on the internet, it's important to realize A) lots of people don't know what Scrupulosity is, so it's possible they've never considered this is a mental health concern that could be treated, and that B) for the purposes of my concern, it doesn't matter if they actually have diagnosed OCD. The only thing that matters is that their thought-process causes them genuine distress/fear, and every response given to them seems to only incite new/additional distressing questions/thoughts, or further entrenches the original distress.]

Ultimately, any discussion aside from "you might want to speak to a mental health professional about scrupulosity OCD" seemingly puts me in the position of feeling as if I am being used for their self-harm. I hate that feeling. I do not want to be leverage for fear and pain. I have GAD, I despise the idea that I am making things worse.

No matter how much I love religious discussion, the answer in these cases is always "please reach out to an OCD specialist/mental health professional. I am not qualified to discuss this." And then to stop there. I have never once seen anyone stuck in this compulsive thought spiral be reassured or feel any better by hearing from someone else's approach to theology handled with things like empathy, compassion, logic, or even atheism. It doesn't matter what we say, how we say it, or how we relate to our own religion. The urge to engage in this kind of conversation in order to chat about religion is a sign that we are not equipped to help.

You can't have a conversation here, because intentionally or not, ten times out of ten, you are adding fuel to the fire. Just like people can't simply tell me something that would erase/talk me out of my ADHD/depression/anxiety disorder, you also cannot simply argue/reassure/persuade people out of scrupulosity. We should not try. We have a responsibility to consider that it's outright harmful to do so, and to disengage.

[littlespoonevan]

the thing about romcoms is just- it's never meant to be 'is it believable?' but instead 'do you believe it?' do you believe these two characters are actually falling in love with each other??? do you believe their chemistry??? do you believe whatever obstacle is thrown in their way is legitimately something that might keep them apart for a time and not something that could be solved with one conversation?? do you believe that they believe they need to fake date for this very specific reason??? do you believe the reason why they're 'enemies' at the start, no matter how silly a misunderstanding it may be??? do you believe the grand romantic gesture fits the characters and is actually how one character would show their love to the other?? like!!!! it's about empathy and authenticity and feeling what the characters feel so strongly that even if it's a trope or a cliché it doesn't matter because you believe it

[rouge-the-bat]

repeat after me: details a creator has stated about their characters/stories/etc for a piece of media outside of said media is not canon.

the creators saying x thing about y character on social media/in an interview/etc can potentially give you insight on their intentions/ideas behind the characters development/personality/etc, and you can accept it as true to your views on the character- but its still not canon if its not in the actual source material.

the term youre looking for is "word of god." in fandom, thats used to describe the creators interpretation of the media. some will accept this into their own view of canon, and some wont. either way, it is not strictly canon, and should not be treated like an asbolute fact of the character/story (or whatever else the information was stated about).

and also remember, subtext and things "read between the lines" can and will always be interpreted differently across the fandom. no matter how "obvious" a detail about a character seems to you from subtext, other people will still garner something different, because thats the point of art. everyone will resonate differently with art and come away with different ideas about it for a multitude of reasons.

sure, some people may be forgetting something or outright ignoring something thats blatantly stated, but when it comes to subtext any interpretation is valid. even if it contradicts whatever the creators may say. art is a mix of both what the creator tries to tell in their story and what the viewer interprets from it. you have to accept that sometimes these will not always align, and thats perfectly okay.

(and also, dont forget something in one official universe doesnt mean its canon in all official universes of a piece of media- even if one is meant to be the same story in a different media form (like an anime adaptation of a manga) or a reboot).

[wistfulwatcher]

"we need to deliver the profile" nails on a chalkboard nails on a chalkboard nails on a chalkboard

[the-way-astray]

so we can add "stupid" to blur's list of traits

[macadam]

Gonna put myself out here for a hot minute to remind everyone that the runner of a poll or little event on tumblr is not responsible for the replies/posts of everyone else in the fandom, nor do they have the power to stop people from reacting in any which way in the notes of their post without turning off reblogs and shutting down the entire thing full stop. I think we can all agree on that? They are not a discord mod, or the fandom's babysitter. Tumblr is the Wild West and by god none of us are the sheriff.

That's all ok keep on keeping everyone

[softpastelqueer]

Way too many Europeans will watch YouTube videos and listen to podcasts that oversimplify US domestic politics, societal issues, or policies (or are extremely biased, region specific, or shortsighted) and then feel like more of an expert of the US and how to fix our problems than the actual people who actually live here and are actual experts or have organized with others for years to fix said problems

[megkuna]

i still think the term "ethically" nonmonogamous is stupid i wish we could get rid of it. there's nothing inherently ethical about it shut the fuck up

[diarydiarydiaryblank]

little whiny comic because i see this SO often not just with me but with other people when they show off their art and it makes me sad :(

[shvdowsdrowned]

I hate when fic writers say the "reader" is gender neutral and then the she/her pronouns slip out halfway through the fic 💀

[roylustang]

I don’t mind Korean Keith headcanons but if you’re gonna do it PLEASE change his last name. Kogane is not a Korean last name 😭

[weirdwoodeyes]

i love ghosts as an idea i mean great concept guys but it’s mind-boggling to me how many people believe they are real due to an event they personally could not explain